Confidence Getting Fit
Confidence getting to the gym. Confidence stepping out of our doors. Confidence in the gym.
Look, I get it. We all have some level of anxiety, and going to a place full of men and women who are fit and strong can be extremely intimidating, especially when first starting out. It’d be weird if you didn’t have any anxiety going into the gym for the first time (and if you don’t, kudos to you).
Let me let you in on a little secret. I get anxiety any time I go to a new gym. I remember when I graduated from undergrad and moved to a new city. I tried out four different gyms in the area, and I remember being extremely anxious going into each one, and by this time, I had been going to the gym for a while and had a basic understanding of working out. Fast forward four years, and I am faced with the same problem. Finding a new gym in a new city. Boom, anxiety back
“What’s the gym culture like?” “Am I going to have a confrontation of some sort?” “Hopefully it’s clean.” “I hope they have a pull-up bar.” Every consistent gym-goer knows that after a while, you see all the regulars and their familiar faces, and then you can instantly tell when a new guy or girl joins. It’s not my favorite being the new guy. It gives me a bit of anxiety. But, if I can conquer this anxiety and build confidence to move forward, so can you. Let’s focus on building some confidence by understanding three points:
1) nobody really cares what you are doing at the gym while you are there.
2) this is all about YOU, nobody else, and you need to let that sink in.
3) anticipate that you’re going to have critics, and having them is not a bad thing.
Point #1: I don’t know what it is, but sometimes, I feel like all eyes are on me when trying something new. But, whether the source of your anxiety is other people looking at you, or how you look at yourself, you can absolutely get past it. First, you have to realize that by the end of the day, very few people, if any, care about you at the gym. I promise you that the only time I ever shift my focus to someone specific at the gym is if that person is exceptionally strong or doing something completely strange (like wearing an unbuttoned flannel shirt without an undershirt, and screaming during every rep). Otherwise, I couldn’t care any less about what others are doing, and they couldn’t care any less about me. Let me give you an example.
A few years back, I was trying to increase my incline bench to around 175 at the time. I set up for the bench, got under it like a badass, and proceeded to pump out 6 great reps, but that last one was tough. Me being me, I went for a rep number 7, and lo and behold, I couldn’t lift it off my chest. It was quite possibly the worst rep any gym has ever seen – it probably moved an inch off my chest. I sat there gasping for air, thinking, “I really really hope that nobody sees me. PS bye mom”. Guess how many people were in a 30 foot radius of me? At least 10 people. Guess how many came to help me? None. Now, before you argue that they are all awful people for not helping me, my point is, nobody saw me. Not a single person saw my roll of shame on that incline bench, and my contorted, red face, when I had to awkwardly tip it to one side. Nobody is intently watching you at the gym – they’re all there to focus on themselves. Realize that, and it will start to sink in that it’s only you versus the weights. Nothing else.
Point #2, in addition to nobody focusing on you, you have to also understand that this is something that you are doing for yourself. I don’t care who you are or what your background is – you’re a great person, and you need to tell yourself that you deserve the best, and the best includes the strongest genetic version of you. You owe it to yourself to be fit. Regardless of your religious beliefs, we don’t have unlimited time here on this earth, so you need to realize that working out is an improvement for you that you should get into as soon as possible, whether that means dancing a few times a week, bicycling on the weekends, or going to the gym everyday. Whatever works for you, go and do it, but make sure it contributes to a healthier and fitter you. You owe it to yourself. I’d paste Shia’s “DO IT” video here but I don’t want to scare anyone off. And look, I get it, it’s hard. We all have a habit of thinking, “I wish I didn’t fall off the fitness bandwagon when I graduated college,” or, “I wish I was athletic”. Personally, I wish I started getting into this when I was in high school and had all that free time. I wish I started this blog 10 years ago. But guess what, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now. Go and do what it is that makes you fit! It’s about you.
Point #3, and I have to cover this, is that you will have to anticipate having critics, and you’re going to have to elevate yourself above them by realizing again, this is for you. Your critics might be loose acquaintances who see that you’re trying to improve yourself and will try to bring you down. “Oh, you’re trying to lift weights now? You’re so skinny. Haha.” The critics could even be your friends: “Dude you’ve been going to the gym so consistently for a few months – why do you look the same?” in that ever-so condescending tone. I wish I could tell you that anticipating these types of comments prevents you from feeling hurt, but the truth is, it doesn’t. It still stings, BUT, what you can do is cushion the blow by anticipating these comments, and not firing back at the people who make them. Do not fight fire with fire – this isn’t the route you want to take. I get it, you want to tell the other person to shove it, but don’t, because the moment that you do, you have just made this about them when it’s about you (see point #2). Not only that, but I also promise you that over time, the same people making the comments will be the same ones who will start coming to you for advice. “Hey, I noticed you’ve been pretty serious about this fitness thing, how can I implement the same discipline in my life?” Helping them will feel so much better over the long term than insulting them right back for short term satisfaction. Don’t say anything when the negative comments are made – be like teflon and have the comments slip right off of you every time they come. Not to belabor the point here, but remember – if you have critics, you’re doing something right. Per Jeff Bezos, “If you can’t tolerate critics, then don’t do anything new or interesting”.
Now I’m not saying the above 3 points will make you the most confident person on this planet overnight, but it will at least give you an inch of more confidence a day. This is a game of inches, and before you know it, you won’t think twice about not going. And remember, I don’t care if you’re 400 lbs and trying to lose weight, or 90 lbs soaking weight and are trying to put on muscle. Working out is for you and nobody else. If I did it, so can you. I don’t care what it takes for you to gain some confidence to get into the gym and start working out. Read this everyday if you need to. Email me everyday if you need to. Do what you need to do, and just remember the three points above. Thanks for reading.
