Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
I’ve been hanging around quite a bit at r/getdisciplined. I feel like I can help the folks there more-so than I can help that folks at r/fitness. It’s always, “What workout should I be doing?” or “is this program better than this other program?” over at r/fitness, which is totally fine, but these folks don’t seem to have a problem getting into the gym. At r/getdisciplined, the general audience are folks who have trouble implementing any kind of routine whatsoever or chasing their dreams. I was inspired to write this due to one of the posts there:
This particular user goes on to say, “Im not a person who gets jealous because other people succeed. I just compare myself with others and it unfortunately fucks up my self-esteem for whatever reason.
How do I overcome this?”
There are several other posts like this, and let’s face it, we have all had this feeling at one point or another. Whether it’s someone who has a better body than me, or a better job, or is a better tennis player, etc – we’ve all been there and compared ourselves to someone else. BUT, there is one thing that YOU will always be the best at and nobody can even come close, and that is being YOU. You are unique in your own way – you have your own quirks and interests, and there is nobody else who is better at being you that you yourself, so you have that going for you no matter what.
With that in mind, the moment you start bringing yourself down because you’re comparing yourself to others, you have two choices:
1) Let it bring you down. Stop pursuing whatever it is that you are pursuing, and just throw in the towel. You’re never going to be the best, so why try? Quit now.
2) You can simply say "good for them!" and move on with your life, or hell, even look into what is making that person successful at what they do so you might be able to implement it into your own routine. The key is that you have to believe in yourself here. Tell yourself that whatever activities you are working on or things you are practicing are for YOU and only your successes. Focus on YOU. If you see someone who is a better guitar player, see if you can learn what is making that person successful -- maybe you can implement it in your own practices, but if you don't -- tell yourself "good for them, that's awesome. Now back to me and my life". No matter what activity you pick up -- there's always going to be a better guitar player along the way, there's always going to be a faster sprinter along the way, there's always going to be a better writer along the way, etc, but there will never be a better person at being you than you yourself, and I'm telling you that if other people's successes are impacting your self-esteem in a negative way, you're not focusing on yourself enough. This is about you and only you. And, consider this, by letting their successes bring you down, you have just made something imaginary get in the way of your own successes. More on that shortly.
A perfect example of this is this blog. I’m not sure how many readers I have, but let’s face it, this blog probably ranks in the bottom 5% of viewership. It’s a cold-hard fact. Do I care? Well, yes I do, but am I going to let it bother me or prevent me from writing? Am I going to find the best blog on the Internet and let it upset me? No man, I’m going to put in my time to research the best blog, find out what I can implement from his or her techniques, take a moment to say “good for him or her,” and then move on with my life. This is about me and my blog, not any other blog.
Here’s the thing that I think is important to mention – this whole comparison thing is imaginary. If I quit blogging because I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as the #1 blog on the Internet, I have let something imaginary get in the way of my goals. The #1 blog being first place has no bearing whatsoever on my life or my goals. The fact that it is the #1 blog simply triggers an emotion that might cause me to quit (if I let it). That is 100% imaginary – something I came up with myself to get in the way of my dreams. I’m my worst enemy by letting that happen. You’re your worst enemy by letting that happen. Move yourself out of the way. The picture for this blog post is of Marky Mark. He was my inspiration for starting to workout. Do I have his body down to the individual abs? Maybe, maybe not. But who cares? I used his body as a goal to to where I want to be, not to deter me from my own goals.
Don’t let comparing yourself to other effect you negatively. Instead, say “good for them,” see if you can implement anything they have done, and continue focusing on YOU. You’ll be better off in the long-run – I promise.
As always, reach out of you have any questions.
-Shane
